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Monday, June 9, 2008

TV Advertising

WHY is it that the greatest source for fertilizer, besides email SPAM, is TV advertising? And why should that be so?

Isn't it rather absurd that one has to assume everything in an ad is complete BS until proven otherwise?

I mean if all these miracle creams, cures, devices, and such are for real, as their predecessors claimed, then why would we need any of the others?

Why do they keep coming up with "new and improved" versions of things that were supposedly the be all and end all previously? If it was the PERFECT solution before, HOW is there room for improvement?

You can make book that if Billy Hayes (or whatever that greasy, slime ball, snake oil salesman Oxy Clean guy's name is) or that smarmy arrogant British bloke pitch you something, you should go wash thoroughly afterwards - preferably in a hot soapy bath or shower. You are guaranteed to have just been covered in the most disgusting fertilizer you've ever experienced, in the greatest quantity you ever thought imaginable!

Who wants to expend all that energy it wastes to be pessimistic about every ad? It'd be rather grand, IMHO, if advertisers were REQUIRED to prove the claims they make before being allowed to advertise in the first place.

You also have to love the complete lack of intelligence in most ads, as well. Isn't it a good thing all these "new" products contain things line oxygen, enzymes and ions?!? God forbid that they didn't, because we all KNOW that they couldn't possibly exist naturally all around us all the time... OH WAIT... oxygen IS everywhere (well, everywhere you can BREATH), your body is chuck full of enzymes, and there are ions all around you! You mean they LIED to us?!?

Hint to advertisers - take some high school or college intro level courses related to a subject about which you intend to advertise, it might make you seem a tad less intellectually equivalent to a sack of rocks.

The human body would not function properly, nor would most other living creatures, without enzymes. And an enzyme is NOT a single thing - there are gazillions of different kinds of them you dolts. For a more technically accurate description see this.

Ions are just variations of the basic elements, to greatly summarize. There are naturally occurring ionic variations of many of the elements on the periodic table. For a more technically accurate description see this.

Maybe, just maybe, if taking a course it too much, you might at least spend a few minutes at Wikipedia and become at least vaguely familiar with the subject about which you are about to preach.

I'm not saying advertising people need to know everything about everything, but shouldn't they know SOMETHING about what they are pitching if we are to take them seriously?!?